All the Songs I Can’t Sing

All the Songs I Can’t Sing
By Gavin Roach. Melbourne International Comedy Festival. 28 March – 8 April 2017.

The lights dim and Gavin Roach appears in a suitably lairy outfit of overalls, a pink hat and pink Doc Martins. He’s belting out the flattest version of “I’m walking on sunshine” you’ll ever hear. It’s no surprise given the show’s title.

After a brief introduction recounting his memories of being a Madonna-crazed school boy, it’s time for the next musical interlude, Madonna’s “Like a prayer”.

Then we get down to the crux of the show – Roach is a triple threat performer who can’t sing. Of course he didn’t realise this when he starred in his primary school play wearing a lion costume his mum made from a toilet mat.

With a media release boasting sold out one-man shows since 2011, I expected a lot from this performance. I wanted fast-paced, laugh-a-minute anecdotes and hilariously bad renditions of songs that would get the whole audience going.

While the point of the show was to talk about his weakness, adding elements of strength could have increased the entertainment value. Singing badly on its own wasn’t enough for me. Roach spoke about attending drama school and having a killer high kick, but we didn’t get to see any of that.

The idea of basing a whole show on singing when you’re not very good at it is so ridiculous it’s ingenious. Perhaps the ridiculousness could have been played up more. I wanted to see the toilet mat lion mane and Tanya and Lafonda, his imaginary back-up dancers.

This show has potential but there’s room for improvement.

Sophia Dickinson

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