Mattaphorically Speaking

Mattaphorically Speaking
Devised by Matthew Dear with accompanist and director Christopher Thomson. New Globe Theatre. June 20-21, 2017.

Mattaphorically Speaking is billed as "A dyslexic guide to dating, love and everything in twebeen". Devised by the two performers, Matthew Dear and Christopher Thomson, it takes the audience through a mock dating seminar in which Matt gives you his tips for success. The advice is interspersed with well-known show tunes, some of which have been re-written slightly for the sake of parody, while others retain their original lyrics.

The opening night audience at New Globe Theatre was clearly stacked with the friends and family of the two performers. They were enthusiastically supporting almost every word, every movement in the cabaret style show. Unfortunately for this reviewer, the humour fell flat and the show needed a lot of fine tuning. In fact, there was at least one section which was out of place in a modern performance.

The jokes about liking his friend ‘despite’ being gay and a patronising refrain about ‘you’re gay, but it’s okay, I like you anyway’ seemed like something out of the 1970s. The mock fellatio went too far and garnered nervous titters from a crowd clearly uncomfortable with such dated humour. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very comfortable with adult themes and jokes that push the envelope, however most of the jokes were simply unfunny and felt like they’d all be done before, back in our parents’ heyday.

Problematic scripting aside, Christopher Thomson did a lovely job of playing his Nord2 piano. He clearly has a lot of skill on a keyboard. His ‘straight man’ foil to Matt’s ‘funny man’ was appropriately dry. He had some good shtick about following him on social media and really warmed up throughout the show into being the narrative anchor that helped you feel everything wasn’t about to go off the rails. His magic tricks were fun and engaging.

Sadly, both performers need to work on their microphone skills. Both basically kissed the mics, leading to popping plosive consonants and what equates to the sound of the people making announcements at the supermarket – that kind of murky slurring of words. When singing, Matthew Dear hit almost all the right notes, but he did that thing one sometimes encounters where he acted in Australian accent and sang in American, with overly nasal tones, leading to further unpleasantness. You have to give him credit for putting in a lot of energy into his dance routines which he negotiated in a very tight space.

The audience interactions were awkward and could have been handled in a way that put people at ease rather than making them nervous. The section in which they demonstrated types of hugs was the funniest part of the show, but the performers need to be careful not to cross any lines with audience members. Some women would not be as comfortable as the ladies on opening night were with being pressured on stage to hug and hold hands. 

It’s always problematic when one reviews these small productions. As a theatre lover, you want to encourage new and emerging works. As someone who has written, devised, directed and produced my own shows, I know how much money, time, effort and heart goes into creating a new work. These shows are the nurseries from which the professionals of tomorrow spring. However, I was recently speaking with an actress who said the reviewers in Brisbane were ‘too nice’ and that constructive criticism is required for the industry to flourish. Far from wanting to ruin anyone’s dreams or careers, I’d encourage the performers to keep working on and honing their skills. They had good teamwork and you felt they shared a genuine friendship.

The show Mattaphorically Speaking would have greatly benefitted from a good dramaturge and an experienced director. It occurred to me throughout that perhaps Mr. Dear would be better suited as a musical theatre performer, rather than in a self-devised Cabaret show. I’d imagine he’d work well with a polished script and the guidance of a decent director.

Kiesten McCauley

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