More Sex Please … We’re Seniors!

The title is misleading. There’s no sex – and very little mention of it. But don’t be put off. There are lots of fart jokes, some wasted Viagra jokes, an audience participation song about prostate exams to the tune of The Hokey Pokey (Oh the Prod and Pokey) with hand gestures to match, and 17 mentions of Dr Phil  to raise a few  chuckles PLUS an entire parody song about him. (Phil, thrill, pill, will, till, kill:- the rhyming possibilities are endless – unfortunately)

The cast is stellar, in a non-stellar production, Jane Clifton, Tracy Harvey, Michael Veitch, Mark Mitchell,  and Matt Quartermaine. They’re all experienced performers who know what they’re doing – or should do! The script is not rocket science, just old fashioned well worn (or worn-out) comedy, yet it seems to confuse them as well as the audience. And here’s the problem. The cast are in their 50s  ( Michael Vietch is actually 49.) They’re not made up to look old and at first it’s not a problem for them to play “Au naturel”. After all, you’re a senior once you turn 55, and they easily pass for that.  But then, the references to their youth seem like throwbacks from much older people….people in their late 70s at least ( which, coincidentally, is the age group of the writer.) A reference from Joan (Jane Clifton) that she went to the movies with Mac and he reminded her of Marlon Brando  in The Wild One ( a film from 1953!) except that he rode a Vespa, suggests that this couple must be in their late 70s. Roy (Michael Veitch) has been in the Vietnam War….conscription started in late 1964 so he can’t be more than 68, yet wife Myra (a youthful looking Tracy Harvey) is a much older character who shuffles around like someone in their 80s. Perhaps there’s a reason for this, but it’s a well guarded secret.

There are anomalies like this everywhere in script and performance and director Pip Mushin must take responsibility for them. It’s his job to create a cohesive vision on stage….to decide on a style, a method of storytelling which will enhance the script, and clearly indicate the chronology even if that means some serious discussion with his author.  His job is to see that the characters are credible, that there is a truth we can relate to (yes, even in  sketch comedy) and that actors don’t mug or become caricatures; to pull back on such things as Tracy’s walk. He fails to do that.

Then there are the Matthew Quartemaine entr’actes– homage to Buster Keaton rather than Marcel Marceau. His “Janitor” style is so anachronistic with the over-arcing style, that they detract from the main action rather than enhance it. And just when you lock into the idea that – despite appearances – these characters are in fact in their 70s,  the closing number has them holding placards which tell us “Life Begins at 60” – and indeed it does…..but no-one I know in their 60s or 70s resembles any of these characters. If you’re 60, the music of your youth comes from The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Bob Dylan – and you never give a thought to June Allyson!

Jane Clifton excels in her musical numbers, and Mark Mitchell provides real laughs with his pull-on pants business. I’m a fan of all these performers, but not in this context, and I couldn’t help thinking of how much more credible this would be with older actors. (Ian Smith and Terry Norris would have made a feast of it…..and Ian’s stunning voice would have been an asset). Michael Veitch had the night from hell. Well, it was Halloween after all. Some of the parodies work better than others, but when the classic “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” becomes “When Myra’s Eyes are smiling”, there were visible groans and cries of “Oh No”. Oh, and let’s not forget the musical offering about incontinence pads, because we seniors don’t have intelligence or opinions or anything of worth, like real issues, to sing about.

Of course, it’s all meant to be “good fun” and despite the fact that I and my friends fit the age demographic, we are clearly not the core audience. If you live in a retirement village and get a group of pensioners together and organise a once-a-year trip to the theatre, you’ll be sure of a few good chuckles even if you’ve heard the jokes before, and Christmas is coming up after all.

Finally, I left the theatre feeling sad and depressed. Whether you like him or not, John-Michael Howson has made a significant contribution to the Australian entertainment industry over the past 50 years. It would be a great pity if he were to be remembered for this latest offering.

Coral Drouyn

Images: Tracy Harvey (Myra), Michael Veitch (Roy), Matt Quartermaine (Mr Dogsbody), Mark Mitchell (Mac) and Jane Clifton (Joan);  Michael Veitch (Roy) and Tracy Harvey (Myra); Michael Veitch (Roy) & Mark Mitchell (Mac) & Mark Mitchell (Mac), Tracy Harvey (Myra) & Jane Clifton (Joan).