Songs and Sexcapades

‘Fifi La Boom’ appears alone on stage in a full-length peach coloured evening gown, which drapes rather than clings to her buxom figure, long white evening gloves and a rather mumsy hairstyle.  Respectable.  Keeping Herself Nice.  It’s her opening irony: her first gutsy song tells us she loves boys – all of them! 

Fifi La Boom’s ‘One-Woman Cabaret & Burlesque Show’ lacks a pianist – so the music is recorded - but the songs, in ironic juxtaposition with her text, are the best part of the show.  Ms La Boom can really sing.  The most entertaining – and risqué – song is ‘Like A Virgin’ in which she counterpoints the romantic claims of the lyrics with the sounds and actions of a more realistic experience.  Would that there were far more of this ‘explicit’ and ‘offensive’ - i.e. ‘shocking’ but funny - material in what turns out to be a pretty bland show.

The bulk of it consists of her recounting some of her sexual experiences – the ‘sexcapades’ of the title.  But these were, apparently, disappointing, sad and unsatisfactory for her – and, unfortunately, they are likewise for her audience.  There were some ‘recognition laughs’ from some women in the audience, but what comic potential the tales have is not mined.  Ms La Boom tells this sort of tale on her ‘sex blog’ and her monologues here often sound as if she is reading her prose – which means they can sound, well, ‘prosy’ and awkward.  Much worse, however, is that they are bewilderingly banal and way too long.

Despite invoking the name of shameless, in-your-face Amy Shumer in the show’s publicity, Ms La Boom’s tales are coy, reticent and short on details – especially those telling details that are the sine qua non of the comic anecdote.  At best, she is wry – but not angry, not absurd, not pointed.  For instance, an account of sex on a Byron Bay beach hints at the perils of sand… but doesn’t exploit the undoubtedly wince-making but funny potential.  As with all her anecdotes, this one peters out into bathos and wanders to a conclusion.  The other name invoked in the publicity is Dita Von Teese.  Say what you will about Ms Von Teese – even that she is close to a waxwork – she has elegance and a sexy, retro style.  No, not here.  Ms La Boom’s burlesque, when it comes, is the standard lose-the-corset, bounce-the-tushy and spin-the-tassels stuff executed in a hasty and perfunctory manner - as if she wants to be done with it fast – which may be a wise decision.

I don’t enjoy being ‘negative’ or mean, but, if you put yourself before the public and charge admission, then you’re up for criticism.  Songs and Sexcapades needs work.  Ms La Boom claims extensive experience in the UK; even so she needs a comic punch-up on her monologues - something that pushes them into funnier and more dangerous territory - and then a director to sharpen her timing and delivery.  As for the burlesque, please be funny or inventive or original or sexy - one of these at least.  Ms La Boom can sing and has plenty of confidence.  But her material and delivery let her down.

Michael Brindley