The Beep Test

What began in 2019 as a ten-minute musical sketch has evolved and developed into fifty-five minutes of great, sustained music theatre entertainment.  Clever, witty songs – that advance the story.  Intricate, inventive and energetic choreography.  Sharp and economic character development.  Touching reveals.  And great performances.

The Beep Test had already won a Green Room Award in 2022 for ‘Best New Australian Musical’ but Conor Neylon and Jackson Peele don’t just love music theatre, they understand how it works, and they have honed and improved their show – with a mostly new cast – to be now the very classy work we see here.   

The plot hook is the ‘beep test’ – a standardised test for measuring physical fitness throughout Australian schools – dreaded by pupils and now mercifully gone.  But in this show, set in the 2000s, the kids are almost always running – while singing, while talking to each other or to us.  But what The Beep Test is really about is competition – necessary, of course, but also the source of misery, conformity, rejection, failure and a destructively narrow focus.

Peele and Neylon limit their competitors to four kids from class 7C: spikey Jane (Sara Reed), hyper competitive Zach (Axel Duffy), misfit Cooper (Sebastian Li), who’d rather be somewhere else, and brainiac Sandra (Charlyi Jaz) – all supervised and bullied by their beefy PE teacher, ‘Sir’ (Lachie Hewson).  Sir has already decided that Zach is champion material – an AFL star - and so rides him the hardest.  But Jane reckons she’s just as good as Zach – and can even beat him.  Sandra, with strict and ambitious parents, just wants to avoid being last...

On the way through this skilfully constructed piece, it tells us – with brevity and a light touch – about living vicariously through your surrogate champion, the desperate search for parental approval – through sport – versus self-belief, who and what is a ‘champion’, teenage crushes, misogyny, and sexism as male defence. These elements – all on message - slip into the narrative, never interrupting the show’s momentum. 

The catchy music may not be classically memorable, but it’s way superior to most contemporary music theatre shows - lively, bouncy and perfectly suited to the show’s lyrics.  The three-piece band – Music Director and keys, Jack Hollander, bass guitar Sonali Wijetunga, and drums Angus McKean – make it zip, and they do not swamp or override the lyrics – of which we understand every word.  (This is unusual these days.) 

Tom Vulcan’s set is only apparently simple.  The floor is marked up for never ending sport competition throughout and the rear wall graffiti reminds us that, apart from their PE teacher, these characters are malleable children.  At the same time, Vulcan’s lighting – from dazzling daylight to pointed gloom – is just right.

Interestingly, for a show with such terrific choreography, no choreographer as such is credited.  Are we then to assume it is down to the multi-skilled writer/director Jackson Peele?  

The Beep Test is the kind of focussed show that holds your attention totally throughout.  It has something to say, and it says it.  No distractions.  Every one of the performers is excellent – as actors, singers and talented, disciplined dancers.  It must be said that, apart from Hewson, who’s reprising his role, these young performers are not kids having an early go at music theatre: they – like the show’s creators, Neylon and Peele - are experienced graduates of WAAPA or the VCA – and it shows.

Michael Brindley

Photographer: Isabella 'Iz' Zettl (@byizzettl)