From Broadway To Ballroom

“Our next piece is a medley of Andrew Lloyd Webber hits. It’s quite long, so if you’re not into Andrew Lloyd Webber, you might want to leave now,” quipped tenor Lachlan Baker. Immediately my daughter tugged my arm to go. She was joking, but I understood her problem.

It’s not as though there aren’t some wonderful moments. Liza Beamish’s voice is a heart-lifting sweet soprano and Lachlan Baker is an excellent tenor and vocal mimic. The two professional dancing couples, Rhett and Emma Salmon and Jeremy Schneider and Jayne di Bella, are world class. Rhett Salmon in particular is spectacular to watch, especially in his lithe, sinuous solo in “I, Don Quixote”. Ms Beamish’s voice soars beautifully over the melody of “My Heart Will Go On”, the drinking song from La Traviatta and “Habanera” from Carmen. Mr Baker’s “Nessun Dorma”and “Bring Him Home”(from Les Mis) and Elvis impersonation were truly lovely.

What made it more difficult to watch were some notable poor production and song choices. “Circle of Life” sounded thin without the rich harmonies from the stage musical. The 1940s setting of Queen’s “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” unfortunately made an ultra-cool song daggy. “Love Is In The Air” frankly just doesn’t suit the singers’ voices to the point that they actually omitted the melody line of the chorus. The Lloyd Webber songs are better in the style of both singers, but the medley was kludged together without much thought to transition.

But the major detraction was the humour. I’m sorry to say this, but the jokes were wall-to-wall lame. Pretending to drink from cocktail glasses of increasing volume in Dean Martin’s “Sway” might have worked if it wasn’t clear that the glasses were empty, and also, I think Kenny Everett did it better in the 70s. Mr Baker’s schtick largely amounted to him making fun of his own weight, notably when he dragged out a slinky Tarzan suit and asked the audience whether they wanted him to put it on. As far as I am concerned it’s Chekhov’s mankini – you shouldn’t have it onstage if you’re not going to wear it. Sadly, that was never the intention.

What the show really needs far more than anything else is for an objective director to trim out indulgences and bring out the best in these performers, every one of whom is far more talented than I could ever hope to be. As it is, the show feels like a string of Mike Walsh Show entertainment breaks. It should be so much better.

Cathy Bannister